How to Rebuild Your Sense of Belonging

Feeling like you’re on a solo journey through the vast galaxy of life? Well, buckle up because you’re definitely not alone in feeling alone. It turns out that our deep-seated desire to connect, to belong somewhere with someone, isn’t just some whimsical fantasy—it’s wired into our DNA. Since the dawn of time, from our cave-dwelling days to the bustling digital age, belonging has been as crucial to our survival as food, water, and shelter​​​​.

But here’s the kicker: the modern world, with all its ‘connectivity,’ has a paradoxical twist—it’s easier than ever to feel disconnected. Before you sink deeper into your couch crevice, though, here’s a little secret: the night is darkest just before dawn. And dawn is breaking, my friend, with some surprisingly simple steps you can take to rebuild those bridges, light up those connections, and jazz up your social life.

The Great Exploration

Dive into the depths of your contacts list. Remember that friend who made you laugh until you cried? Or the colleague who always had your back? It’s time to rekindle those connections. Send a message, make a call, or if you’re feeling particularly adventurous, set up a coffee date. The key here is to reach out, reignite old friendships, and perhaps even spark new ones.

When reaching out, just keep in mind to make the conversation personal to your contact, rather than opening up a conversation based on what you need, such as finding a new job. Doug Lester, renowned career coach for Ivy League university alumni and Fortune 100 executives, expresses that “in the end, what you end up sharing, it isn’t overly important. But what is important is that something other than your job search or career advancement prompted the outreach.”

Be curious, and most importantly, your authentic self. Find out what gets them excited, and dig into that to stoke the flames of your dormant ties.

The Work Chronicles

Your workplace doesn’t have to be a soul-sucking void. Transform it into a fertile ground for connections. Start with a simple ‘hello’ to someone you haven’t spoken to much, join a work project that interests you, or participate in social events. These small steps can lead to meaningful conversations and deeper connections with your colleagues.

And here’s a truth to ponder: having a best friend at work isn’t just a nice-to-have; it’s become a must-have in the cosmic dance of the modern workplace. Amidst the nebula of remote and hybrid work models, a best friend at your workstation (or on your Zoom screen) can be the gravitational pull you need, keeping you tethered to a sense of belonging and boosting your performance. Recent findings from Gallup highlight that such friendships not only light up our work lives with joy and support but also lead to supernova results in business outcomes.

One simple method to use when discovering new connections at the workplace is to recall Professor Robin Dunbar’s seven dynamics of friendship, your North Star to forging lasting relationships. They encompass elements such as speaking the same language, world views, humor, music interests, and more. The more of these seven dynamics you share in common with colleagues, the more likely you are to forge deep connections at the workplace.

Deepen the Bonds

For those in your life you already consider friends, think about ways to deepen those relationships. Share experiences, be vulnerable, listen actively, and be present. It’s about quality, not quantity. Genuine connections come from genuine interactions.

In a Covve workshop on fostering social health, a panelist shared the power of communication, consistency, compassion, connection, and something they referred to as “cookies”, which are a reference to positive reinforcement. Have a look at how they emphasized these five C’s to help people foster deeper relationships with colleagues and friends alike.

Enter Covve – Your Social Wingman

Navigating the social cosmos can be daunting, but what if you had a personal wingman to remind you when it’s time to reach out, keep track of the little details that make each relationship unique, and even suggest conversation starters based on what your contacts are interested in? 

Enter Covve, a personal relationship manager designed to help you build and maintain those all-important connections. With smart reminders tailored to each individual in your network, Covve ensures you never miss a beat, whether it’s wishing someone a happy birthday or congratulating them on a new job​​​​. And the best part? You can try it out and use it for free.

The journey to reconnect, to feel that sense of belonging, isn’t just a solitary quest—it’s a communal voyage. And with a few intentional actions, supported by a tool like Covve, you can navigate this journey with confidence.

So, what are you waiting for? Dive in, reach out, and watch as the world opens up in ways you never imagined. After all, the universe is vast, but your place in it is guaranteed—as long as you’re willing to take that first step.


Updated on 10 Apr 2024.

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